View Full Version : 1001 D&D Pick-Up Lines
pigknight
07-16-08, 06:59 PM
Post your D&D pick-up lines.
1) I wanna explore your dungeon with my dragon.
2) Are you an Azer, 'cause you're on fire.
TheJade
07-16-08, 07:18 PM
3. "Well, to answer you question, yes this is actually a rod of lordly might in my pocket, but can't I also just be excited to see you as well?"
4. "So, delve around here often?"
5. "Those lips... those eyes... those tentacles..."
6. "What's up, baby. My name is Lancelot, as in a lotta lance. Can you dig that?"
7. "It doesn't bother me that you're a half-fiend if you can live with the fact that I'm a were-horny toad."
8. "You know, milady, normally I'm not into dwarves, but your beard seems to have entangled my arm, so... I guess I'm technically into you."
9. "Not to color your first impression of me, sweetness, but let it be known that I pooled all of my ability points in dexterity, constitution, and charisma and I joined a knights of the ecstatic lady prestige class, going so far as to take proficiency in two-handed tongue wielding."
InsaneEngineer
07-16-08, 09:09 PM
10: was your dad a thieves guild master, because he stole the twinkle of the stars and put them in your eyes
11: whats a cleric of (god of love of your choice) doing in a dungeon like this
pigknight
07-16-08, 09:33 PM
12: I mad skillz with my mage hand.
Farmer42
07-16-08, 09:37 PM
13. Hey, babe, I think you just lit my everburning torch.
Mr_Seth
07-16-08, 10:22 PM
14. "So, are you a half-minotaur, or are you just-" (Note: This pick-up line has never been completely spoken by anyone. It either ends here with a slap, or a half-minotaur pops up and starts screaming at the speaker that he is tired of racial profiling.)
15. "Wanna see my Handy Haversack?"
16. "Some adventurers need to go out and buy a ten-foot pole to complete their equipment. Not me!"
17. "Once you go halfling, there's no going back...ling."
Tigervirgo
07-16-08, 10:36 PM
18. "Yes, it is true about Centaurs. We are hung like a horse."
calronmoonflower
07-17-08, 04:15 AM
19). Want to see my Rod of Wonder?
20) Will you be my portable hole?
21) You just targetted my heart with a magic missile of love...
Kobold_Avenger
07-17-08, 04:48 AM
I wonder how long this thread lasts... hmm..
jarisfein
07-17-08, 07:53 AM
22. "Say, baby, you wanna see a little trick I can do with an enlarge spell?"
23. "You know I can do mage hand at will now..."
pigknight
07-17-08, 10:06 AM
24. You know I can magic missile at-will now...
25. You know, baby, all I need is five minutes rest between each encounter...
Farmer42
07-17-08, 01:23 PM
26. You look ready to break some hearts, baby. Good thing I still have all of my healing surges.
UmbralKnight
07-17-08, 02:36 PM
27. (Wizard) I might not have much of a CON score, but I do have "implement mastery", if you know what I'm saying...
28. Want me to show you which of my powers are Reliable?
GMforPowergamers
07-18-08, 09:45 AM
29) what template do you have, it must give +20 cha
30)you know being an adventurer is dangerus work...This could be my last day alive
Saul_Durian
07-19-08, 12:35 AM
31) You don't have to wait for the wondrous figurine to come back, I got one right down here :cool:
coyoterex
07-19-08, 01:27 AM
32) I just failed my saving throw versus your beauty.
33) Would you like to see my special "At Will" Ability?
34) You must have quite a movement bonus, as you have been running through my dreams all night long.
Ocarina_Guy
07-21-08, 01:03 AM
35. Your Stealth mod must be horrilbe, because I can't keep my eyes off of you.
36. Are you a psion (telepath)? 'Cause you've been in my head all night.
37. Did you know that heavy armor imposes armor check penalties? You should remove it.
38. How good is your Thievery skill? 'Cause you stole my heart. Seiously.
39. Shall we go into the back and smite some evil?
Decapitus
07-21-08, 10:04 AM
40) Yes - I do live at the Tomb of Horrors. Don't worry though, that's just what my first wife called it.
41) Can I interest you in some unexpended dailys?
42) Gnome? No..I'm sort of a fey dwarf blend...oops...here comes security..maybe I'll see you at the adventure club another time..?
DarkSavior
07-21-08, 10:34 AM
25. You know, baby, all I need is five minutes rest between each encounter...
This made me laugh out loud
43. Sure soda and chips make good DM bribes, but I can show you how to really make some good xp.
pigknight
07-21-08, 01:36 PM
44. Are you a red dragon, 'cause you're on fire.
45. Are you an azer, 'cause you're on fire.
Ra-Tiel
07-21-08, 07:21 PM
46. Are you a solo or an elite encounter? If it's the latter, can you bring your sis along?
Eldritch_Lord
07-22-08, 02:51 PM
47. (Half elf) "You know, I'm part elf. Do you have any elf in you? No? Well, would you like some?"
48. (Caster) "I have at-will and encounter powers now, so I can keep going all day long."
49. "No need to worry about the 5-minute workday with me!"
nowiwantmydmg
07-22-08, 03:04 PM
50. "Come on babe light my astral fire"
51. "Care to show me what dragonboobs are for?"
This made me laugh out loud
Good, it's always good to know when I bring a smile to someone :D
50. You know, my Staff Implement mastery isn't just a class feature...
Kittenstew
07-22-08, 03:13 PM
51. I can make you scream "Oh Pelor!" over and over ...
Ra-Tiel
07-22-08, 09:16 PM
52. Are you a wizard? You have some pretty impressive orbs right there.
pigknight
07-22-08, 10:04 PM
52. (3.x) I have a staff of miracle. Wanna try it out?
Melchizedek
07-22-08, 10:16 PM
Hey baby, I'm a halfling. You'd be amazed what I can do standing up.
(Resetting numbers to correct value)
55. You know, this ain't my only magic longsword...
Ocarina_Guy
07-24-08, 10:24 PM
56. The recommended party size is five. But for what I propose, two is all we need.
57. I still have an action point left.
58. You know what they say: good tonguework is the sign of a good Diplomacy modifier.
59. I see perfect tens all the time, but you're the first natural 20.
60. You know, a high Charisma isn't just good for spellcasting.
61. Do you have the Great Cleave feat? (Anyone read OotS?)
62. If you push the right button, my rod of lordly might might extend.
arclord2000
08-01-08, 11:11 PM
A contest and voting of the best pickup line was done awhile back elsewhere and the winning line was:
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in the room?"
Therefore, I feel a DnD modified version should be made for this.
Grod_The_Giant
08-01-08, 11:56 PM
63. "Hey babe, you must be the bard/cleric/paladin/charisma using class...'cause you've got more Charisma then the rest of us combined!"
how's that, acrlord2000?
64. "Yeah, I took weapon focus last level. Guess what in."
65. "You must be an eladrin, 'cause you're downright unearthly!" (ehh...maybe not so great).
pigknight
08-02-08, 01:10 AM
66. I'm a rogue. I am good at getting in and out.
67. yes, its true, since 4ed halfing are 'larger'
68. hey baby, you must be the nymph preview from the next monster manual...
Falstyr
08-02-08, 04:10 AM
A contest and voting of the best pickup line was done awhile back elsewhere and the winning line was:
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in the room?"
Therefore, I feel a DnD modified version should be made for this.
*cough*
Ok I'll give it a go...
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in my dungeon?"
Well that wasn't difficult o.O
69. "Don't worry girl, I ain't using a bastard sword!"
darkcyril
08-03-08, 04:04 AM
70. (Cleric) You know, Marvin Gaye isn't the only one who knows a few things about "sexual healing."
green_girl
08-03-08, 11:37 PM
*cough*
Ok I'll give it a go...
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in my dungeon?"
Well that wasn't difficult o.O
It could also go as something like:
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in my gaming table?"
Funnier if there's only one girl in your group.
StarDrifter
08-04-08, 01:10 AM
72. (fighter) You know, I took two handed weapon training for a reason.
73. (feylock) You know, baby, if you're real nice, you can see my eldritch rain (I know, that's really wrong)
74. (cleric) wanna see my lance of faith?
Keiichi_m
09-04-08, 05:14 AM
75. "Hey baby, Alchemy may not be a class skill for me, but my sense motive check tells me there may definantly be some chemistry between the two of us"
76. (Elf/Eladrin) You know we live for hundreds of years, right? How long do you think foreplay lasts? ;)
77. Rogues do it from behind
78. Do you know what I can do with a +25 bonus to Endurance and Athletics?
The_Jew
09-04-08, 01:24 PM
(3e) you know I can polymorph into anyone you want
how much does a white dragon weight... enough to break the ice high I am (place characters name here)
how do you like being the most beautiful girl on my gaming table.
The_Jew
09-04-08, 01:26 PM
I would slay the entire party just to see you smile.
merlync70
09-04-08, 11:46 PM
79. Slide on over here baby and lets get prone, my effect may immobilize you!
LadyNeferRa
11-26-08, 12:53 AM
80 Fighter to Tavern Wench: Hey baby, what's your alignment? Mine's vertical!
Yeah, I know. You've heard it before. :D
BattlestarWarlock
11-26-08, 01:37 AM
Hilarity!!!
Just a suggestion boys...any pick up line containing the words "gaming table" is likely to fail ;)
Best: 32) I just failed my saving throw versus your beauty. <- that one's funny.
Also, the implement lines are weaksauce...any *player* knows it's not the size of the implement but how it is used.
StarDrifter
11-26-08, 10:00 AM
All those angels in the astral sea must be lost, because their queen is standing in front of me.
JasonOrlandoHawk
11-26-08, 03:13 PM
Actual Pick-Up Line Used by a former member of my Gaming Group to hit on Female member of the same group:
"Check out the size of my dice pool."
We didn't let him live that one down for over a year.
Fixing the number we are on:
87. Once you go Gnome, you won't ever want to go home.
88. These may be miniature, but I can show you something that isn't.
89. How would you like to be my next Tie-fling?
90. Were your armor leggings recently buffed, because I can see myself in them.
91. So, my buddies and I have a bet going...could you tell us what Dragonborn breasts are really used for?
92. I seem to have lost my bed at the inn, mind if I borrow yours?
93. That is great adventuring gear...it would look even better on my floor.
94. Drop that zero and come with this adventuring hero.
95. I'm afraid of the dark, could you come with me into the dark dungeon?
96. It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that knocked me prone. 97. Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement... (stereotypes ftw)
98. (at the local inn) Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
That Blasted Somoflange
11-26-08, 06:38 PM
99. I'm the original Immovable Shaft
100. Wanna play Scabbard and sword?
Metal_Aged
11-27-08, 04:42 PM
101
"I'm really attracted to you, you're smart, beautiful, everything I need. Lets have sex.
Afterwards... we can, you know, play a session of Planescape. :drool:"
Ixien_Kothar
11-28-08, 03:21 PM
59. I see perfect tens all the time, but you're the first natural 20.
That's the best one so far.
McCloud
11-28-08, 11:36 PM
If we don't tie the knot, i might just consider this a fling.
Dremik-the-Taupe
11-29-08, 10:49 AM
*cough*
Ok I'll give it a go...
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in my dungeon?"
Well that wasn't difficult o.O
Or, if two people are swallowed whole, you may as well make the best of it:
"How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in the dragon?"
LadyNeferRa
11-29-08, 10:47 PM
All those angels in the astral sea must be lost, because their queen is standing in front of me.
*sigh* Very romantic. :tissue:
See a line like that will make her either smile or laugh. Either way, you win. :D
*sigh* Very romantic. :tissue:
See a line like that will make her either smile or laugh. Either way, you win. :D
Or it would be if angels weren't faceless, legless anthropomorphic personifications of ideas such as vengeance or battle in D&D :P
pigknight
11-30-08, 12:15 PM
^ He has a point.
Hanzo187
11-30-08, 07:04 PM
102. Ninja means "man who endures". Wanna find out why?
103. I may not be a succubus, but you'll still die happy. (I know, stupid)
104. (Wearing plate armor) Don't worry, I brought protection. (yet another stupid one)
105. YOU'RE kinky? HAH!! I've got dimensional shackles!
106. I'm a ninja, baby. I may not carry big weapons, but I know how to use my equipment.
107. That +4 bonus with daggers ain't just for combat, honey.
The_Jew
12-01-08, 04:38 PM
This was taken from my old schools debate teams top pick up lines but I think it can work here as well.
"nice shoes want to ****."
pandurai
12-01-08, 09:27 PM
108. On a scale of 1 to 10 you are over 9000!
109. You have 5 copper? Cuz I got a foot long! (insert hip thrust here.)
StarDrifter
12-02-08, 03:45 AM
^ He has a point.
possibly, but how many women are going to know that??? And if they do, that just opens the door for a DnD conversation with a girl gamer, so still win.
Orenthes
12-02-08, 06:39 PM
110. "Screw the hand of vecna, I've got something else"
111. "I'm a wizard in more than one way, beautiful"
112. "Want to see how good your endurance really is?"
113. "Want to make an attack of opportunity on me?"
114. "As a wizard, I can make your trousers disappear"
115. "(Dragonborn) Hey honey, want to see how scaly ones get it on?"
116. " (Gnome) That's right baby, I'm a monster"
Orenthes
12-03-08, 08:34 PM
Please don't tell me that I killed this thread.
Melchizedek
12-03-08, 10:47 PM
(to a cleric or paladin): Wanna come back to my place and exercise the demon?
FenrisRolfe
12-03-08, 11:02 PM
You look like you could use a little lay on hands.
Channel Divinity? No, but I'm looking at it.
Let me show you the meaning of elven accuracy.
Dremik-the-Taupe
12-04-08, 05:23 PM
116. " (Gnome) That's right baby, I'm a monster"
Best line on the whole thread. We have a winner, everyone.
Darantei
12-05-08, 05:14 PM
(female) This dungeon's damp, but it sure ain't cold...
Orenthes
12-05-08, 11:46 PM
Best line on the whole thread. We have a winner, everyone.
Well thank you
118. I am the Jack of ALL Trades
burnout
12-06-08, 09:55 AM
119. I can power attack all night long....
Hanzo187
12-06-08, 10:39 PM
120. I must be vulnerable to radiant, 'cause I'm staring at a goddess.
121. Intelligence isn't MY dump stat.
122. It's all right. I've got a phasing weapon.
123. Woah, be careful. It's a thunderburst weapon.
pigknight
12-06-08, 11:07 PM
124. My vampiric touch might leave you limp.
Duel_Masta
12-08-08, 12:11 AM
125: (3.5e) Hey, babe you must have a +999999 on Profession: Farmer those melons are huge
126: Hey, babe you must be a druid those hooters are HUGE
127: (3.5e) Hey, babe you must be a druid or have a +999999 bonus to Profession:Farmer that ass(idiot translation: donkey) is nice.
128: Are you an elf?